What friends are for
by Aurora Nightshade
Summary: Riley left Sunnydale, and Buffy suffers. Willow tries to comfort her. Complete. Please r/r


                                             What friends are for

Disclaimer: Buffy and the rest of her universe don't belong to me, I'm just writing about it as a hobby, I don't make money with it and so on, you know that.

Author's notes: My first trial on femslash (Buffy/Willow), so it's not only the first time for them but for me, too. ***g* **Femslash is a relationship between two women which may contain sexual actions, so if you don't like it feel free to leave now and do not flame me for writing about that. But I am thankful for every constructive feedback, so please review and tell me what you think about my little story!

So he was gone. He had really left her and she couldn't believe it yet. Being the stronger one of them both, she had never really thought about the fact that this could bother him. To her, it didn't matter. But in reality, it seemed that this point had exactly been the reason why he vanished. Left her because he couldn't tolerate his weakness any longer. And now she was the weak one. 

Riley had gone, and Buffy cried her eyes out.

After the discovery of his activities in this vampire club she had been shocked in the first line, had been sure that her feelings for him had disappeared. He met vampires and enjoyed their bite – that seemed kind of pervert to her and she couldn't understand why he needed this when he had her. 

And when he had told her he would go she didn't believe him until it was too late. Too late she discovered that her feelings for him hadn't changed – she was in love with him like the first day. But she couldn't catch him anymore. He went away in this helicopter and Buffy stayed on the ground with the knowledge that he was the man she loved and that she had lost him  at this moment.

Now the sun was shining into her room and outside everything was nice and lovely. Why couldn't it rain at least, Buffy thought frustrated. Was it fair that the world outside was a paradise of sunlight when inside her everything was washed away with tears and sorrow?

                                                                    ***

Willow was sitting in her seminar, but she wasn't able to follow the explanations of the professor. Her thoughts were permanently ranging Buffy and the state of mind she was probably in. And Willow could exactly describe what a state of mind that was, cause she remembered razor-sharp the leaving of Oz. 

But what could she do to make it less grievous? What had she wanted in this situation? Willow was perplexed. Nothing seemed to be the right strategy. Well, maybe… a new thought took shape in her head. Should she really try this? What if Buffy took it wrong? But nothing else would be helpful here, and she had to try. That was her due to Buffy, her best friend, who had saved their lives so often. Now it was Willows turn.

                                                                     ***     

"Buffy, dear, it's Willow", passed the voice of her mother muffled through her closed door. Buffy still lay on her bed, tears streaming, but had stopped sobbing. She could already hear Willow's steps  on the stairs. A soft knock on her door, then it opened and Buffy sat up. 

Actually, she didn't want to see Willow. She wanted nobody to see _her_. But now she was here and Buffy wasn't able to send her away. 

Willow stood still on the doorstep, undecided if she should really do what she intended to do. "Hi", she said with a trembling voice. "Are you okay?" _Fine_, she thought by herself ironically,_ very good start. Sure Buffy feels already better with that_. Buffy said nothing, but glanced at her as if she wished to be somewhere else. Willow sighed and cleared her throat. " OK, forget about that shit, I know you don't feel alright in any case. I… it's just that I don't know what to say. You know, I've been through this with Oz and I remember clearly how it was. Nothing that anyone could have said then would have made me feel better. So I want to be there for you, but I don't know how." The words had sputtered out of her mouth like a fountain as soon as she had begun to talk, and Buffy looked at her now in a different way. _Liar_, told a peaky voice inside Willows head, _you know exactly what you have to do to feel her better. The point is, you're too fainthearted to tell her_.

"We never have been really useful in that time, haven't we?" said Buffy softly. 

"Oh, forget about that, I survived it anyhow. Now is the important thing, that you survive it too, and I know you will." Willow had crossed the room during her speaking and was now sitting on the bed in front of Buffy. 

"Why?" Buffy rang a dry laughing out of her throat. "Because I'm strong? Because I'm the slayer?" The word were spat out with a bitterness that made Willow sad. Yes, that was exactly the way of feeling she knew, being left for something you were and couldn't change. Or, in her case, something she wasn't. Maybe it was right that Oz had considered at least that a werewolf belonged to a werewolf, but it hadn't made it better for Willow anyhow. 

"How did you?" asked Buffy meanwhile. "How did you get out of this at last?" Well, how did she? This question wasn't so easy to answer. Sometime, it had stopped feeling that bad, and the sickness she was used to had more and more vanished. So Willow just said: "Time's a healer", but Buffy just snorted at the thought.

"Maybe there's something else I could do", Willow suggested shyly. "And what would that be?" For the first time this afternoon, Buffy looked Willow straight in the eyes, without any mask of anger or cynism. And Willow was drawn to those eyes like a moth to a flame, seeing the pain and the bitterness of a broken heart laid bare in them. She came closer to Buffy. "Sometimes words aren't as good as deeds", Willow whispered in Buffys ears and embraced her. 

Some moments of hesitation, then Willow felt two slender, but nevertheless strong arms return the embrace. Carefully at first, groping their way as if they first wanted to find out how far they could go on this new territory. When no resistance was found, the arms grabbed tighter around Willow and Buffy snuggled into the embrace.

Willow held her a while in that way, sitting on the bed, cheek to cheek, bodies close together. Then her hands began slowly to stroke Buffys back, her hair, her upper arms. The slayer just sat there with closed eyes and let it be. She had never experienced something like this before. Of course, there had been boys – Angel and some others, not to forget Riley. _Was it just imagination or did it really hurt less than before to think of him?_ However, this was so different – so soft and gently could never be a man's hand. Buffy felt so comforted, lulled into an ocean of warmth and easiness. Willow fingertips, which were cautiously stroking over her cheeks and her spine caused her little shivers. She moved her mouth against Willow's ear. "Will-" "Shhh" made the addressed one and took Buffy's face gently between her hands. A deep look from one to another, Buffy holding her breath – for she knew what would come now, she could see it in the depth of Willows eyes. Her heart jumped at the thought, she never had imagined that someday she would do this with a girl – but she didn't shrink back, 'cause in this moment Willow seemed to know her better than she herself did, and she trusted her with everything she had. And then one pair of lips met another, and Buffy knew she had been right with her trust.

Such a tender, delicate movement – Buffy tasted it and found it as sweet as the fruits out of the garden of Eden. Sucking at each others lips, tips of tongues in joyful play – the slayer girl couldn't have said if it took a year or just a moment, she was totally out of time, fully surrendered to her best friend's touch. She couldn't remember at which time they sunk from their sitting position to the bed and stretched out without stopping their actions, she couldn't tell when she suddenly had been out of her top and Willow, too, satin-smooth skin caressing each other, hands slowly moving over her breasts and her hands doing the same, all that she knew was that feeling of being saved, loved, removed from the world for a marvellous afternoon, nothing bothering her any more. And then, sometime, she must have fallen asleep, nestled against Willow as to a saviour. 

                                                                    ***

When Buffy woke up, the sun was already about to go down and the last afternoon glow lightened her room in warm colours. For a moment, she recognized nothing else than the remainder of this wonderful state of mind she had been into before. But then she noticed that Willow had gone. 

Buffy sat up, thoughtful and slightly disturbed. Why hadn't she stayed? Did she regret what she had done? No, Buffy refused to believe that. But no other credible answer would come into her mind. _Do you regret what happened?_ a malicious voice asked inside her head. Buffy thought about that. No, I don't, she finally said to herself. It was the best thing a friend could do for another. Remembering Riley did hurt just now, but not that much, for now she new that there was still love, and that somebody cared for her. Life would go on, and it wouldn't be enjoyable all the time, especially not for the slayer. But she would survive it, because there were people she could trust, people she could rely on. And that's the only thing that counts.

                                                                  - The End -


End file.
